Many people start out the new year with a resolution. Many want to loose 20 pounds or finally finish that book or something generic. I feel like a resolution does not have to be measurable and it should not be a once a year goal that many people usually forget about three months after January. We were told to think of a one word resolution and I chose a word that I have been working on for a while and just feel like continuing with. I chose RELATIONSHIP. This word is vague and can have many connotations but that’s exactly what I wanted. This word can branch out into so many topics and I’m hoping it will span my mindset and life and change it for the better. RELATIONSHIP most importantly connects me to my stance with God. To me Christianity is more than just a religion and it indeed is a relationship, the most important one I have. As long as I keep my focus on him, I truly believe that all the other relationships will fall in line where they should in my life. I want to also work on my relationships with the people around me. I would love to be better friends with some of the people I see everyday but my schedule has been busy so far, still I find it necessary to reach out and show people that even though I cannot show it all the time, I do care for them and their well being. The last relationship I think I should improve is the one I have with myself. I would love to do better with handling stress and taking care of myself everyday. This is the last relationship on the list because I know that the other two come first as far as urgency. This one word resolution sums up my feelings for exactly how I want this year to be the first year of a better life
One Word
Mix It Up
I try to keep a busy schedule. It prevents boredom and I know that keeping busy will propel me to success. I tried to challenge my everyday routine this week and see if there was a significant difference in my time management or productivity. My normal Monday consists of back to back classes from 11:00 until 3:20 and then I have a thirty minute voice lesson and right after that I have and ACE meeting I go to. My whole day ends around 5:00 and most of the time I don’t even have time to eat in between. Right after ACE I have some free time to eat at the cafe and after that I am free for the evening, however last week I had to do backstage Run Crew for the musical Chicago. So my time was especially short. On top of this schedule, I still had to balance an executive position with ACE and a Vice President position at the Baptist Campus Ministry. During this week I had to optimize my time by getting as much done in the free time I did have. This gave me about an hour and a half from the end of ACE to the beginning of Chicago. Instead of eating in the cafe and wasting time like I usually do to relax I got my food to go and worked in the ACE office on homework, Interactive business, and any other work I had due that week. This was very different from my normal routine. I usually have a lot more free time however this week I felt more productive than I have in a while. I know now that I should find a common place to get my work done from now on, instead of trying to go back to my dorm and get work done there. There are so many distractions at Cypress that it would be best for me to stay in a very focused place. This challenge of my everyday process has lead to a reform in my attack with schoolwork and extra-curricular work as well.
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?
The other night I had a wonderful opportunity. I was able to eat at the Chancellor’s house and interact with him and his wife. Many college students go their length of college without ever really knowing their Dean or Chancellor. This is the second time I have been able to eat at the Chancellor’s house thanks to LLC. I find this to be a tremendous opportunity and an honor to actually be able to walk around the campus and have the Chancellor or his wife, remember your face and say hello. When we talked to the Chancellor we asked him what was something that he wanted to see from his students. His answer really inspired me. He mentioned all the people who come to Pembroke and then transfer to another school after a year. He shared that he aspired to have more students come to UNCP and actually stay. I think this is a very understandable vision. I have no plans of transferring out of Pembroke unless I must and I think a lot of people come here for the wrong reasons if all they want to do is transfer. I have heard a variety of different complaints from people and it seems that the most prevalent issues being addressed could have been avoided if the students did any research on the school before they came. I know many people like the class sizes however a small campus is not for everyone, therefore I believe that we can have more committed students at Pembroke if people would just clearly define what they want.
I was able to talk to the Chancellor for a little while and I was even able to share some more personal information than just my major and year.I was able to talk about my beliefs and my future aspirations. I really enjoyed talking with him and getting to know more about his vision for the school. Later that evening we even got a tour of the Chancellor’s house. This was especially unique because I know that not everyone gets this privilege. I really did enjoy my time that night there and despite any possible personal problems I was having, I still look back at that night and can pull out some great experiences.
8 AM
So I just got finished with a Roadside Cleanup that started at 8 am. Now this might not be early to some people and I understand that many people have to up before 8 but for a college student whose earliest class is 10:00 during the week, this time is pretty early. I used to be awake earlier than this, especially when I had a waitress job that required me to work some days from 6:30 am until 11 pm, but this was a while ago and my body has adjusted to this new schedule. Any way…I had to wake up at 8 and when my alarm first went off I was tempted to hit the snooze and roll back over in bed and just get my hours elsewhere but then I remembered I promised Katie I would go. We all met in the lobby, there was about 7 of us, and we got our gloves and bags and started on our mission. The first corner showed how much work this day would be, the whole corner was filled with trash, the ditches on the side were almost overflowing with old beer bottles (Bud light was the most popular) and fast food bags (McDonald won by far). We had filled up about two bags in the first ten minutes of work and we still had about a quarter mile to go. For only seven people working, we did a really good job and started to really make progress. I think Roadside cleanup is a good idea because it improves our community as a whole and it also leads the way when people pass by us and see us trying to make a difference. I did this event last year also and in comparison it seemed a lot easier. Maybe little by little that road is getting cleaner and cleaner. Stuff like that makes me believe that I can make a difference one step at a time. Cleaning the road seems like something really small and to some it might not seem like you can tell the difference but I think people seeing you do it has more of an impact than the finished product. Along the way a man in his car actually said to us that we were doing a good job. It shows that the youth here do care about the community and we want to help out even with the things many people overlook.
For the Kingdom
Community service has always been easy for me to find. Last year I would find many opportunities to be involved and do service. This year finding service that fit in with my schedule was a lot harder, especially when there is a time line. This lead me to the decision of holding my own service project. For two weekends I held a beautification day at the Baptist Campus Ministry Center. I am involved at the BCM house but this beautification was not requested previously so I truly saw a need before anyone else had a chance to tell me. Cleaning this house is a great form of service because it is not only a worship center, but it also is part of Hostile International. Hostile International houses people for a low rate who need housing. They sometimes can have people staying there from a few days to a school year. I know a few people in Pembroke who stay there out of necessity which makes this BCM house a very important part of people’s lives. The biggest reason I consider this a great Community Service spot is because this is a Worship Center. Every Tuesday night, it holds a worship service with music, food, and a message. The connection and fellowship that happens at that house weekly is amazing. Cleaning this house is cleaning the place that God’s presence might dwell. I know many people may have different reasons for volunteering but mine has been consistently to somehow benefit others for the glory of God.
A lot of the work that was done both of these days were common household chores. I found out that a lot of the tasks that seem simple, like dusting and mopping made a great difference in this house. Sometimes I thought “we did this last week so it doesn’t have to be done again”, but then I realized that people mop their own floors and clean their bathrooms more than once a week so why should this house be different? We cleaned windows, dusted fans an windows, vacuumed, mopped and swept; We even washed the walls on the porch to make sure to get rid of cobwebs and excess dirt. I was excited to see all the people show up to help out. It was great to see everyone being efficient and getting so much accomplished. We even had time to trim the hedges and mow the lawn. It was a great project and the best part was seeing the finished product. The before and after was night and day. I’m thankful that so many came out to support on Saturdays when they could have gone tailgating instead. There are still a few projects at the BCM House that can be done so there will be future beautification days coming soon.
It Must Be A Punishment
Everytime I mess up I honestly believe there is some type of punishment that I will experience. Without fail it has worked that way in my life. For the last year, whenever I do something wrong its always rewarded with a tmporary feeling of delight, but the following feeling is the most horrible feeling in the world. The weight on my heart is heavy enough to bring me to my knees and still pull me farther. The only relief can come from God, but he’s the one I’m going against so why would I deserve that? The bible says that everything works out for good for those that love the Lord- which makes me think..I love the Lord so everything will be ok but the bible also says “If you love me then keep my commandments”. How can I say that I love him when I can’t even do what he wants me to do. Thats like claiming you love a friend but stabbing them in the back with lies and false promises. I know I deserve it everytime I get it but this time it feels like too much. I can’t handle this punishment because I know it will last forever. A part of my heart feels ripped out and the part left can never heal that scare. I should have ended it earlier…I should have never gotten myself into it. One sin leads to another to feed the addiction and I’m so addicted. And its wierd that the punishment thats worst than any other physical pain is just a strong emotion…desire…A desire that is sooo strong but not allowed. I can’t have what I want, I never will and it hurts on the deepest level, I know as I grow in faith God will make it all better but as long as I’m surrounded with this problem I will never be in the right….The only fleshly ease is a dosage of the problem…..I guess thats how addiction works huh?
People in this day and age has such a distorted view on relationships. Not just the typical “male and female” relationship but with every other human that we coexist with. We underestimate the importance of communication, understanding, compassion, and love, which leads to the problems we face in our society today. As a Christian I am called to love my brothers and sisters. I have biological brothers and sister and but in the body of Christ we are all brothers and sisters. Not just superficial love that is conditional or that varies, but the kind of love that lasts forever. In this world we have become so complacent with violence, and hate that we ourselves do it almost unconsciously. The Bible tells us to be fruitful- which directly applies to the fruits of the spirit ( love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, thankfulness, gentleness and self control) Notice that love is first. My favorite scriptures are all in 1 Corinthians 13. This whole chapter speaks on love, the right kind of love. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away”.
On the radio and on TV we see a constant display of hate towards other. Some songs endorse the ideas of hate and discord and shows make fights and turmoil a form of entertainment but have realized that all of these things are in direct violation of what I believe in. It is hard to catch what is watched on TV as negative now days and our society has been so desensitized that everything has to be EXTREME. Horror must be bloodier, action movies have more gore, suspense has more sex and thrillers mean more profanity. lol its funny to me because the same rap I used to listen to, if I listen to it now its too elicit. I really think about the norms we have now and I have compared it to the lifestyle that am trying to live and I see that I have a long way to go. I accept so many things and compromise for stupid stuff I don’t want to co-sign. I can’t preach, I can’t remember scripture to quote of at the top of my head to speak to the spirit. All I know how to do is live my life as close to God as I can and lead by example. All I can do is love with the same force I am loved…..I love you…even if I don’t know you…only because Jesus loves you…whether you believe it or not.
When I first joined LLC I thought it was a great way to connect me to the Pembroke Campus and give me an immediate network with other students. I loved the idea of having friends all throughout my college experience. This last year however my personal life took a drastic change and my desires for my life changed. My reason for being in LLC has become a deeper along with my mission for life. I am here to reach as many as people as possible. My life has been touched by my faith and truthfully my biggest desire had become to show love to everyone and maybe touch someone enough to even make them smile. My Intent this semester is to get through my classes with all A’s and to keep a close relationship with the people in my organizations.
If I want to be successful in my future as far as jobs and support I need to get the best education I can and take advantage of the opportunities I am given. This semester I want to make all A’s in my classes. I have Literature, Biology, Entrepreneurship, Choralle, Private Voice, Theater, and Psychology. It is a total of 18 credits and I will reach this goal. I am currently trying to find time to isolate myself to get this work done and to study. After I finish my office hours for either ACE or BCM I designate time to study and focus on one subject at a time. I also have formed study groups, which is new for me, and these have exponentially raised my studying productivity. I also will set due dates for all my assignments at least two days in advance so that they can be double checked. By mid-terms I will be able to tell if my grades are lining up with my goals. I know I have been a really great student wit lots of potential. If I hone in on these skills I have no choice but to be successful.
My next goal is to keep a close relationship with the people in my organizations. With two jobs and 18 credits this could be a hard task but I find it important to have a family in the LLC. I know that there are plenty of opportunities to become closer to my family if I do this. I plan to atleast make sure that by the end of this semester I have talked to a majority of the LLC members on a personal and friendly level. I do enjoy this group and I know that my progress will be measured by how close I become to my fellow members. I try to be accepting of everyone and I can honestly say that God has enabled me to love anyone. This is why I know that this goal is achievable. Hopefully by the end of the year this will multiply to the whole LLC community. I know we will go through this norming stage and eventually make a wonderful family and I want to be a constructive a accepting part of it
….But I Can’t Swim
This weekend LLC took the group to USNWC for our team building experience. This trip included a mandatory White Water ride and the Mega-zip Line. When I was first told about the White Water ride I was planning on just sitting out the activity, I couldn’t swim. I looked forward to doing all the other activities but the White Water rafting was a definite NO. That’s when Mike and Becca told me that “it was required” to go rafting. I decided that I would have to suck it up and go thought with it. We started out our morning with team building exercises, many of these games required me to be extremely close to my LLC members, this was a unique experience but it truly did build a sense of community between us. The games inspired team work that I didn’t think could be formed in such a short amount of time, we did extremely well and were able to enjoy our successes together. During these exercises we constantly encouraged each other and we formed bonds that I’m sure will carry over throughout the year. When the white water rafting came up, I was still nervous but I was in a group with some newly trusted team members. Our instructor was confident and he helped encourage us. He taught us how to row and trust our teammates in order to keep raft afloat. As we were going down the first rapids the team was always there to encourage me. When we finally finished the level two rapids, I realized that my team was competent enough to take on more. The rest of the ride was less intimidating and soon became an adventure. This was one of the biggest accomplishments of my day and taught me that I can really trust my LLC members to always be there for me. All in all I had a good day. =]
Google Me
Mr. Mike Severy has always mentioned “personal branding”. For the last five months I have mastered his definition of these words. How will I present myself to the world? When my future employer “Googles” me what will appear? Some will have a Facebook page or a Myspace account pop up. Maybe with embarrassing pictures or something they would only want their friends to see. What conversations will pop up online as they dig around deeper into their websites? When others are Googled….nothing may appear. They left nothing to speak for them past that online application or that single sheet of information handed to the manager of a store or company. Once you step out of that interviewing office what will you leave behind? What if you have said all the right things? Given all the tactful answers….but that last Tweet reflects a totally different attitude? Mike always asks about our “media footprint” and where it will lead. That is why I do my best to convey my message on Twitter, Facebook, and WordPress. If I truly express how I feel in a professional manner I don’t see any other way but up. When I am Googled I want the world to see what I am truly about, not my moments of weakness displayed by mean words or sarcastic jokes. If I make my media footprint obvious to those who want to see, I have nothing to hide or have apprehensions about. I put my best foot forward, just as I would in a formal interview or on an application. I want to keep my blogs going, it’s a great way to keep track of how I am processing new information and developing as a student, person, leader, believer, and a future employee. It’s always great to recognize growth and keeping track of my footsteps will take me miles down the right path.
